Jealousy When Everyone Else is Pregnant
Once you’ve decided to have a baby you’ll be feeling a lot of excitement and anticipation for the moment to arrive when you’re finally pregnant. However, as months go by and your pregnancy tests continue to be negative, your emotions may become more negative as you deal with frustration and worry. You may also start to feel jealous and envious of other women who are pregnant. So how do you cope with these feelings of jealousy until you’re finally the one who is pregnant?
Feeling Guilt About Your Jealousy
Not only can feelings of jealousy pop up when you’re trying to conceive, you might feel guilty that you’re feeling this jealousy. This can be especially true if it’s one of your close friends who is pregnant when you’re not. Try to remember that feeling envious and jealous are natural reactions. When you want so much to be pregnant it can be hard not to feel this jealousy. It doesn’t make you a bad friend to feel this way so unless you’re acting out on these feelings of jealousy don’t feel guilt for having them. If you’ve shared your journey to conceive with your close friends this is a time to lean on them so that you can get the emotional support that you need.
The Frustration and Jealousy of Infertility
Going through infertility problems can be both frustrating and disheartening. In fact, there are many emotions that you’ll be feeling as you keep trying, and failing, to get pregnant. Directing your frustration and jealousy at friends and coworkers who are pregnant isn’t going to help you cope in a positive and healthy manner. When you’re full of jealousy over everyone else’s pregnancy it’s important that you take some steps to cope. Otherwise you may find yourself becoming bitter towards any woman who is pregnant, and this can only harm your own emotional wellbeing.
Talking About Your Jealousy
One of the best, yet hardest, things you can do to cope with your jealousy is to talk about it. This might mean talking to your partner, a friend who is not pregnant, or even that friend who is pregnant. Keeping your feelings to yourself will only allow them to grow deeper, and more negative. Open up about your jealousy and frustration about not being pregnant when you really want to be. If you’re not comfortable talking to someone you know, then consider seeing a counselor. What’s important is that you talk about what you’re going through. Negative emotions are only going to take a toll on you at a time when you need to remain positive.
Coping With Jealousy by Having Realistic Expectations
A lot of times when women decide to have a baby they envision themselves pregnant in just a couple of months. They start to set a deadline for themselves such as firmly believing that they’ll be pregnant by Christmas. When your body isn’t responding the way you want it to, it’s easy to see why that green eyed monster of jealousy can rear its ugly head. Suddenly you start to notice that every woman around you has what you want. Be realistic about how long it can take you to get pregnant. Most couples conceive within the first year, so try to relax. Don’t create more worry for yourself than is necessary when you’re not pregnant after just five months. And give yourself permission to feel a bit of jealousy now and then. No one is expecting you to ignore how you’re feeling.
Manage Your Jealousy by Declining “Baby” Events
As you’re trying to conceive it’s okay to put yourself first now and then. This means declining to attend some of those events that are “baby” related such baby showers and first birthdays. Choosing what social situations you attend is one way of coping with jealousy. If it’s just too hard for you to go to another baby shower and see a friend pregnant then stay home and pamper yourself instead. Send a gift along with someone else but don’t feel obligated to go. Sometimes you just don’t need reminders that you’re not the one who is pregnant when it’s the only thing that you seem to think about.
Don’t Give Up Your Life to Jealousy
Even though coping with your feelings of jealousy can be difficult try not to isolate yourself too much, especially if it could cost you a friendship or two. While you really might not want to spend much time with your pregnant friend it’s important that you don’t avoid her to the point where your friendship suffers. It might be a good idea to talk to her about how you’re feeling and what you’re going through as you deal with infertility. Most people are quite intuitive and she may already know that she needs to be a bit understanding around you. Don’t let jealousy keep you away from spending time with your family and friends. Trying to conceive can be one of the most stressful times in your life. Take care of yourself without jeopardizing those friendships that are important to you.