Many couples use a surrogate mother when they’re unable to have a baby on their own. While the decision to use surrogacy is hard for a couple who have had to come to terms with their infertility, the decision can be an even harder one for the surrogate mother. There are many issues that you’re going to have to consider if you’re thinking to become a surrogate mom.
The surrogacy relationship is one that is based on mutual respect and understanding between you and the couple who have chosen you to carry their baby.
Perhaps the most important thing that you can do is find an agency for surrogate parenting that you’re comfortable and at ease with, and whose policies you’re in compliance with!
At the end of the day you want to provide a couple with the baby that they’ve been dreaming of, and at the same time have your own positive experience at being a surrogate mother.
The Strict Criteria to Become a Surrogate Mom
Most agencies for surrogate parenting will have much the same standards and criteria that need to be met before you can become a surrogate mom, either for someone you know or for a couple that choose you as their surrogate.
The first requirement that you need to meet is that you’re a woman between the ages of 20 to 27. You must be in good health and you need to have had at least one healthy baby of your own.
If you’re married you’ll need to have the written consent of your partner acknowledging that you can participate in the surrogacy program. This is important to ensure that your own emotional stress of going against your spouse’s wishes won’t become a concern.
You’ll need to undergo psychological testing as well to make sure that you’re emotionally capable of carrying someone else’s baby, and then giving up this baby after you give birth.
Most agencies will tell you that up to 70 to 75 per cent of women are eliminated at this point because they don’t pass the first interview or psychological testing.
Being in Prime Health for Surrogacy
There are several different medical tests that you’ll need to take so that your physical health can be verified. This includes the following types of tests:
- Determining your blood group.
- Rh typing.
- Blood tests for HIV, Hepatitis B and C, and Syphilis.
- Testing for infections such as Chlamydia and Genital Herpes.
- Pap smears.
- Complete gynecological examination.
Don’t be intimidated by these tests. If you’ve already decided to be a surrogate you’re most likely already aware that you need to be in good health.
Other factors that may stand in the way of you being a surrogate mom include smoking, drinking alcohol, or using drugs.
It stands to reason that any couple choosing you to carry their child want you to be in the best physical condition as possible, and this includes not having any bad habits that can harm the baby you’re going to be carrying.
Once you pass the tests for being a surrogate, your name will be added to the agency’s database. Then all that remains is for the biological parents to select you as their choice for being a surrogate to their baby.
Don’t be discouraged if you’re not immediately chosen to be a surrogate.
The Importance of Having your Own Children Before You Become a Surrogate
One of the criteria for becoming a surrogate is that you have children of your own. There’s a very good reason for this. Once you’ve gone through a pregnancy and given birth to your own child you can fully understand the bonding that happens between parent and baby.
You’ll know that the couple you’re carrying this baby for have already bonded in their own way, and are looking forward to the wonders and joys of bringing their baby home. Surrogate mothers are typically very caring and generous women.
Surrogacy is something that you should be proud of being able to do for another couple. On the flip side, it’s also important that your own family and children if they are old enough, understand why you’re doing this.
Make sure that your own children don’t feel that they’re losing a sibling but rather that your entire family is involved in a caring and loving experience through which you all can grow.
What Motivates you to be a Surrogate?
There are most likely several different things motivating you to be a surrogate mom for another couple. Perhaps you just enjoy the feeling of being pregnant, and your other pregnancies have been easy and fulfilling.
Or perhaps you have empathy for those couples who are unable to have children on their own, and you want the opportunity to make a special contribution to them so they can enjoy the wonders of being parents.
Don’t worry if you’re also becoming a surrogate so that you can enjoy a little financial gain for your own family! This is a great way for you to help your own family while at the same time allowing another couple to recognize their dream of having children.