YourBabyLibrary-Planning Your Family One Isn’t The Loneliest Number
Planning Your Family for Only One Child
Planning how many children you’re going to have is a very personal decision. A few years ago it was common to see families with two or more children but these days more and more couples are opting to have one child only.
Times have changed and the expense of caring for a large family is out of reach for most families. Time is a factor as well when it comes to larger families. These days we’re busier than ever with extra-curricular activities.
The more children you have, the more divided your time is going to be.
The Stigma of Having One
There are many stigmas about having one child such as they’ll be lonely, they’ll be selfish, and they’ll be too self-centered. It’s important to remember that these are only characteristics, and can be applied to all children no matter how many are in your family.
Children will grow up to have their own personalities, and who they are inside isn’t going to be the direct result of you deciding that you only want to have one child.
Are There Advantages to Having an Only Child?
There are some definite advantages to having only one child. You’ll be able to give them all the attention they need since they won’t have to share that attention with siblings.
You’ll also be able to provide them with the best when it comes to material things as well as be able to afford to enroll them in activities such as band and sports, which can be very costly the more children you have.
Most only children have a great relationship with their parents, perhaps because they are able to share so much quality time together. So long as you teach them to be honest and responsible, only children will grow up to be wonderful adults.
The Disadvantages of Having Only One
Just as there are advantages to having only one child there are also disadvantages. Only children have more pressure on them when it comes to their achievements. This is because you have only the one to focus on and encourage them to excel at all they do.
It can sometimes be hard for them to make friends due to the fact that they may find it easier to interact with adults than other children their own age.
You’ll have to make a concerted effort to introduce your only child to other children their age by arranging play dates and enrolling them in activities where they have to interact with other children.
Perhaps the biggest disadvantage for only children is how they feel when they’re older.
Many only children miss having siblings and being an aunt or an uncle.
The Pressure of Having More Than One Child
There seems to be a lot of pressure to have more than one child. This is probably because people feel as though the disadvantages to only children aren’t fair.
However, as more and more couples are waiting until their late 30s and 40s to have their first baby, more of these couples than ever are deciding that one is enough for them.
Just because your family and friends are voicing their strong opinions that you can’t possibly stop at having one doesn’t mean that you should give in to the pressure. Stand your ground and do what’s right for you.
Guilt About Having an Only Child
With all the pressure from family, friends, and society to have more than one child it can be easy to feel guilty about your decision. There’s no reason to feel any guilt since you’ve done nothing wrong!
Multiple studies on single families show that only children are no worse off than children who have siblings. When planning your family, what matters is that you do what’s best for you and your personal situation.
Perhaps you feel that you can only adequately afford one child or maybe you and your partner had infertility issues and you’re fortunate to have even one child.
Whatever the reasons are for you wanting only one, these are personal reasons that you don’t need to explain or share with anyone else.
Being Selfish is Okay When Family Planning
When you’re deciding if you really want to have another baby, it’s alright to be selfish about your decision. Perhaps you and your partner have careers you love and interests that keep you busier than other couples.
Having one child will allow you to experience the joys of being a parent while at the same time living a lifestyle that’s important to you. No one else is going to live your life so do what’s going to make you happy.
If having one child fulfills you then that’s all that counts.
Gone are Traditional Families
The traditional family of two parents and two or more children are gone. These days family dynamics are as varied as ever. Whether you have one child or four it’s the experience you share with them and the way you raise them that is going to shape who they are.
Single children families are just as happy and well-functioning as any other family. If you give in to the societal pressure and have another child, will you be happy with your decision?
Doing what’s the best thing for your family is what’s going to make you the best parent you can be.